I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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