This is not my ceiling
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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