You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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