Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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