My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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