Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
