Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
