I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
