East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
