fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
