How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
accomplished twins. life is a go
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Let's paint friendship bongs
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
