I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I will be naked everywhere
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
