How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
it's like iHOP with fire
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
