I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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