so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize