Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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