I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
