HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
