Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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