He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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