Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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