And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It's like God shit irony all over that family
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
