Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
