It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
