Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
