its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I had to cum in my sink.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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