Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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