She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
