Duck Duck Cougar?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
