We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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