You just made me feel so damn special
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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