I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
did you just send me my own nude
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
