would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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