Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We had to coat check the pizza.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize