Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
