She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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