I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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