Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
