I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
