Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
