gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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