I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
