The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
