Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize