If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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