Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
