Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
