i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
so much tequila, so little girl.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
