You're a womanizer and a bitch.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize