Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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