There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
