I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize