Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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