Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize