We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
