i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
