just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
