Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
