masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
