Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
